You had a bad day!
by artificus
Summary: Yes, even the famous SG1 team has a bad day sometimes! See how Sam finds her cyber-thingy again and how Teal'c picks flowers. Parody!


Also the famous SG1 team has a bad day sometimes and how Sam finds her cyber-thingy again...

*************************************

"This tree looks very familiar to me.... just like this whole damned forest!  
Didn't the forests with the Knox and countless other planets looked just the same!? Amazing similarity!" Daniel Jackson was in a lousy mood.

"There is a logical explanation for that" Carter replied, aghast.

"Everywhere, where the conditions enable human life, such as sufficient oxygen, low atmospheric pollution by toxic gases, an ozone layer, that absorbs the ultraviolet radiation of the sun - or, as in this case - the suns -"

"Grow firs, spruces and stinging nettles!" Daniel interrupted (if he hadn't done that, O'Niell had stuffed her mouth!) and kicked sullenly against a stone. Suddenly something appeared below it.

"Sam! Isn't that your pneumo-catalyzer that you've lost on P493660pvc ...?" Daniel noted casually, but Carter ignored his statement.

They walked in silence for a while, Colonel O'Neill went ahead and tried to bring as much distance as possible between him and the annoying others. Behind him followed Major Carter, then Daniel. Teal'c was the last.

"Don't you think it's strange that the Stargate stands mostly somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and is almost never guarded? Why? We have an ultra strictly guarded mountain, where we keep it hidden, and for what the taxpayers pay millions of billions annually!"

Teal'c picked flowers and tied it to a nice little floral wreath, which he put on his reflecting bald, while the others boiled from irritability.

"Actually it's quite nice here..." Daniel said, probably because he didn't sneezed a single since they were here.

"Why don't we stay, huh? ... And make a really nice holiday!"

"They need us in the Stargate Center!" Jack called back.

_It is a shame that the Code Red was banned!_ he thought seriously annoyed.

"Sure, they need us!! We do about 99% of the work. SG1 makes everything! SG1 here, SG1 there! That#s annoying! We take over all operations, including those who even have nothing to do with the Stargate. Sam, why are you actually helping Doctor Frasier in the hospital station?! You are astrophysicist, and no doctor. And why do we both know how to use the central computer in SGC?? Why me? I'm an archaeologist! Aren't there enough morons!? If not, I wonder who the people are, who always occupy the best places in the cafeteria.  
You know, a few things are disturbing me. ... They certainly mix something into our food. Otherwise I wouldn't be so muscular! I only sit around the whole day and pore over books...  
And General Hammond ... I have the impression that we are much more important than the other teams. After all he went through the Stargate only for us.  
All the other SG teams are directly declared to be missing. Or we need to go to find them. And why do I have to this rescue missions anyway? I'm an archaeologist!  
And what's up with Laira, Colonel? You cruse through the galaxy, making any women pregnant... "

At that moment Sam and Teal'c probably thought the same:

_"Oh-oh... soft spot, soft spot!" _

"DANIEL! NOW'S ENOUGH!" Jack shouted, clenched his fists and stamped with his unlocked gun like an angry bull towards Daniel. Daniel took a few steps back, in fear of death, but he stumbled over a tree stump and suddenly fell face down into a stinking, deep mud puddle (assuming it was mud).

"Ouch!" Daniel whined. "Sam, did you see what he has done?"

But Carter was just glad that Daniel was still alive.

"Now that's what you end up with, you idiot! Now you shut your mouth for the rest of the day, or I'll beat the crap out of you!" Jack cried at Daniel, then he turned around.

"And Teal'c! Stop picking flowers! You know what happened on P123xyz! "

Tial'c, with its wreath of pretty flowers on his head and a small bouquet of red flowers in his hands, burst out into bitter tears because of Jack's rudeness. Sam immediately cared for him and tried to comfort him.

"You insensitive monster!" she cried at her superior.

"I think I have a splitter in the finger..." Daniel said sniveling and whining, when he saw how lovingly Sam cared for the torrents crying Teal'c.

"I hate my job...!" Jack muttered angrily ... _And who cares about me now? I want to be cuddled too...  
_


End file.
